Hello, December

December 3, 2012


"I find December," I began writing at first, and then decided that "December finds me," sounds much less condescending.  So.  December finds me under the light of  a sun behind a rosy sunrise.  The pine trees in the way break up the sun's shine into a hundred smaller rays of light.  There are so many leaves on the ground- quiet leaves, silent leaves.  This room has a soft, gray glow to it, and it is still except for my pencil scratchings and frequent yawning.  It is Saturday morning and it is six something or another.  Does it matter?  Six anything is too early.  But, in the sentimental way, I am glad that I woke up to see the first of December.  It feels like a nice sort of accomplishment to be up so early on the weekend, and to see December shake the leaves of the calendar off of her.  She has not come with a bang as I suspected she might; she came softly, beginning to close the door of autumn behind her, and tiptoeing her way across this leaf covered lawn.  I was afraid that what with the bustle and busy for you-know-what, this month would be completely lost in nothing but a hurricane of wrapping paper, shopping, and traveling.  But I am happily surprised.  And I hope she leave softly too.  I hope she goes with snowflakes sprayed in her hair, a smile on her face, and gently closes the door of 2012.

2012.  2012.  I will never, ever forget that year.  This year, to me, was as hard as a fist clenched, but slowly, slowly it opened up into some remarkable, vibrant, living thing.  And the best things and the worst things have happened, hard problems finally solved, and new hopes are burning like silhouettes of what I hope to do in the future.  And possibly, the most shocking and thrilling thing of all is that everything, everything is growing around me.  Even in the dead of this first of December, this life is vibrant and alive.  It makes me want... no, no, it makes me... it's like with this knowledge, I can feel this spirit in me, this spirit I call my God who is perfect in every way, who is all powerful, behind me pushing me forward.  Dragging me forward.  Holding me back.  Keeping me exactly where I need to be.  And he gives me peace.  Peace.  Peace.
--
bits of writing from December first, last Saturday.

6 comments:

  1. your writing. it just takes me away.

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  2. love this. so real and so beautiful.

    missing you, love.
    your goose.

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  3. Lovely, dear. Simply lovely.

    Hugs,
    Emily.

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  4. "december finds me." yes, i like that. that's a good way to put it. i think i'll do a post about how december found me someday. this is beautiful and you have a great point of view :)

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  5. You noticed it too? December just stepping up quietly after the fireworks of autumn are over.
    I also hope she leaves with "snowflakes sprayed in her hair, a smile on her face, and gently closes the door of 2012." as you sweetly put it. =)
    I really like the first picture, with the pretty heart shaped leaves. <3

    ~Jenny

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