Good bye to Neverland

November 27, 2012

I found a piece of paper lying on my desk with a child's handwriting scrawled all over it.  I picked it up and read it.

“Every child grows up, except one. He never learned from a schoolbook, he never went a higher grade, never had to do algebra. He was like a bird flying around places. He had no feeling about anything. The word love offended him. He was a good swordsman. Like a knight, of course, he carried a dagger. He went into the real world only to see that one girl that would have to grow up. Be he never had sad feelings. He was never going to grow up, and that was his life.” -Morgan



Morgan has been having a hard day of it: math isn't her thing, it’s a dark day and she has to see a cloudy sky, the world outside is too small for her spirit, and something is changing in her.  She remarked without thinking to me when having to do school, “I wish I was free,” and then stopped- confused at what she had said- and added, “I mean I wish I didn’t have to go on.”  She looked worried because those words didn’t seem the right ones, but I think they were. 

She was trying to say she didn’t want to grow up, just trying to figure out a way to live without having to get older.  I think, more importantly, she was saying she was just a bit scared to grow up.  And what surprised me the most, what made me proud- but sad- was that she wrote about it.  She wrote about Peter Pan and his Neverland, how he never had to grow up, how he never had to have feelings.  It was honestly weird to see my sister with troubles and go write them down indirectly in a notebook… just like I do.  I wanted to tell her that life isn’t all that bad, that growing up isn’t hard.  But I bit my tongue and realized like parents, I guess, have to do: they’ve got to learn for themselves.  I could have kicked myself for thinking that, but after all is said and done, she needs to learn for herself.  And my job is to be there for her…

“Every child has to grow up, except one.”
--

6 comments:

  1. beautiful. even if she doesn't want to grow up, your sister already possesses the wise insight of someone I cherish very dearly. ;)

    xoxo,
    goose.

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  2. Every child has to grow up, except one <3

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  3. this. love this, so much. these pictures are beautiful, Gabby, and i can totally relate with that oh-so-smart-and-wise young-un. growing up is hard. things change, people change, circumstances change, we change, and we are a people who cling to the familiar ways of our child-hood. we hold on to the past--things that happen everyday. i've never liked change, but it is a part of getting older, i suppose. and growing up isn't bad... it's just a part of life. :)

    one of my favorite posts yet. :) but all yours are my favorite. ♥

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  4. oh my gosh, this made me cry.

    I'm turning sixteen tomorrow and have struggled with facing the fact of really growing up.

    this is so beautiful. thank you.

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  5. This is sad and sweet and wonderful all at once.

    And that's all.

    Hugs,
    Emily.

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  6. When I was 9, I totally felt that way, I did't want to get another year older; life was fine the way it was. =)
    Somehow I've stayed 14 on the inside; even though I've sanded and polished that 14 girl over the years.
    And I agree with Mikailah again, Growing up is weird. =D
    One of my favorite posts!

    ~Jenny

    P.s. Last picture, one word : Beautiful.

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