September 11, 2012

I used to wonder how it must have felt to be the eye in a hurricane.  Just acting normal and being what God intended you to be, and watching all the hustle and bustle going on around you.   Like, "Gosh, everyone is busy."  That about how life feels right now.  I'm tottering along at my own, quiet pace and it feels like everything is a whirlwind around me... even though the wind is a part of me, one way or another.  Heavens, I'm watching all my siblings grow taller and taller everyday- one eleven year old is already threatening to pass me up in height, much to his vanity.  My mind cannot wrap itself around the fact that this summer is nearly gone- my sister's birthday will officially announce the arrival of fall and the fare-thee-well of summer.  This morning, I got registered for a preparatory ACT test for come October and my heart is thumping.  We're going to start moving into our house Thursday.  I'm thinking about having to say good bye to my grandparents and it feels weird knowing that we'll only be a half hour away instead of fourteen.  School books are opening and my eyes are watering as I stare at the endless volumes of numbers.  I just lean back and realize that this is what it's like to be in the eye of a hurricane.

I wonder, too, if the real part of living (the real schedule and beat of life) is when all this whirlwind is spinning nonstop around me and life is as busy and full as it is?  Then I wonder if really living is when everything quiets down to just a whisper in the wind and the simple pace of life falls into place.  I wonder, where is the schedule and "real" part of life?  Not that it's in our grasp to change it... I just wonder what the real beat to the song is.  Or maybe you're truly living when you are the eye in a hurricane.  It's quiet on the inside, but a whirlwind on the outside.

Maybe and maybe not.  But the moment has fled and the words and thoughts have escaped me.  All I know now is that I have a piece of pie in the kitchen (and about a dozen school books to boot) with my name on it.  Times like this, the best thing to do is to watch the hurricane, eat pie, and let things happen.  Happen as God intends them to.